Being Dionysian

I just watched the most inspirational TED video I have ever seen.

Dan Phillips-Creative houses from reclaimed stuff 

Holy crap.

I feel like I am finally beginning to understand what is missing my life.

Sometimes I feel as if I do not have nearly as much knowledge as I should at this point in my life, but it is because I am allowing society to suppress my need to create and exemplify what nature has to give us. 

This video has made my day and has actually inspired me for the weekend.

Instead of buying more crap that no one really needs anyway, I am going to create.

Re-purpose the forgotten.

Oh boy!

Leftover Chinese and Skittles Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving has never really been a holiday I have particularly enjoyed.

Mostly because of my allergy to turkey, but also because I think its silly to dedicate day day to gorge yourself until you pass out.

 When I was younger, I really loved spending the time with my family, but as I have grown, I have drifted away from my family, and my family has drifted toward drugs and thievery.  

I'd rather just have leftover Chinese food with my mom, than try to get my very dysfunctional family together in one place. 

Especially since my parents are divorced, and that means two of those gorging sessions on one day.

No, thank you.

I have to work today anyway, and although its lonely at times, I think I'm okay with it.

I am super excited that it is Thursday, which as you know, is my Friday!

I am going to make the best of my next 3 days with lots of fun and exciting adventures.

I only have 3 things left until I have completely finished with my undergraduate degrees.

Woot.

It is just a matter of convincing myself to get them finished.

I have certainly caught senioritis and I think my professors are being understanding about it.

 I plan on finishing at least one of those things today, one tomorrow, and one Sunday, leaving Saturday for fun and exciting adventures.

I have been feeling more and more creative lately.

I am getting pretty excited about the prospect of spare time once school is finished.

I'm going to create the crap out of something.

Just not sure what yet.

I'm considering going shopping tomorrow, how stupid is that?

I'm pretty sure I'll be miserable if I do, but I will also get a lot of crap out of the way as well.

Oh well, I guess its time I get started on homework.

Laterz.

Oh Rome, how I loath thee

Boy, do I hate being in Rome.

Its so weird that my parents hangout with people my age, that I went to school with, but its even weirder that they get dirty picture texts from them and then talk about them.

Gross.

No thank you.

I go to the bank with my dad today and a girl I went to school with works there and cannot stop flirting with my dad.

For some reason, no one from high school ever recognizes me.

Not only do I have to put up with the weirdness of that, but they have the worst grammar in the entire world, and it makes me want to scream every time they speak.

The one good thing about being in Rome is seeing just how far in life I have made it and how much more I need to accomplish.

I look forward to the day I never have to come back to Rome again.

Really, I do.

I'm always terribly miserable here.

My parents just talk about the same old drama crap and I just don't want to be involved.

I never ever ever want to live in Rome again.

I'm just not made for it. 

In other news, the interview went well...I think.

It was kind of awkward and rushed, but they seemed to like me.

It was just bad scheduling on their part because they wanted to make it to their Thanksgiving luncheon that started just half an hour after my interview was suppose to start. 

It consisted of 3 ladies asking me questions from every side of me.

Questions that I really felt were really impossible to answer without being put in the situation, but I gave the best answers I could.

I really hope I get it.

It would be a nice way to not be so upset about finishing up undergrad.

I keep telling myself that I am ready to be finished, but I don't know that I am convinced yet.

Maybe I'll make a happier/more interesting post later.

I'm really just super tired right now, and I don't want to be in Rome.

I am miserable.

Cookie dough makes the world go round

I got this fancy new hat yesterday.

It makes me happy.

I love Nelly with all my heart.

I do. I do. I do-oo. 

Sometimes I forget how happy his songs, make me, but I immediately remember when I hear any of his songs. Especially Ride Wit Me.

Today has been a rather stressful day. 

Its the kind of day that I just need a nap and some cookie dough.

Then everything is at least a little better.

I attempted to have a meeting with a professor, didn't happen.

I attempted to get my tires changed, didn't happen.

It'll happen bright and early tomorrow morning though, and it's about damn time.

On a more positive note, at least the semester is winding down, and I am finally beginning to see the light at the end of this long and dark tunnel.

I really cannot wait to graduate. 

I never thought I would feel this way, but boy as it gets closer, the more excited I am.

I really miss being in a relationship.

I'm looking forward to meeting someone new in the future.

Who knows when it will happen, I think that's the best part of meeting someone new.

Just never knowing when it's going to happen.

Vacancy is an understatement

I've only been working here for about a month now, but it is too weird to see the hotel completely empty.

Maybe this will make for a nice and quiet evening.

Maybe.

I've been in a fog lately.

Not the sick kind of fog, but the just completely out of it fog.

I think I've been sleeping so poorly that my dream-state has been following me through my day.

Its been a couple years since I have had so many nightmares in a row.

Its probably my stress levels catching up with me. 

There's lots of things I can do to fix this, and probably should in the very near future. 

I went on a short walk today, but I really should be making time for more than that everyday. 

I always feel much better when I walk at least 3 miles. 

I'm dreading it getting colder, but I might as well take advantage of this strange November weather while it lasts.

I say that now and it will be snowing tomorrow, I'm sure.

Graduation is now exactly one month away.

One month from today I will be the proud graduate of two BA's.

I had a strange conversation with my Dad yesterday concerning graduation.

He said frantically that no one in the family has ever graduated from college so he has no idea what he is suppose to do to celebrate it.

I really don't expect anything big.

An expression of how proud people are of me will suffice.

I'm just happy to be finished...almost...for now.

I'm not at all looking forward to working for the next 5 days, but at least I have the interview Friday to look forward to.

I've been working on my French the last couple days, and its slowly coming back to me.

The rope burn on my hand still hurts.

Two days later.

Rope burn is the kind of pain that sticks with you

The interview went well, and I am even more excited about it now. 

I have another interview next Friday.

::Fingers crossed::

I think I will feel a lot less lost once I have a real job in my field.

I never thought something would come up so quickly, but boy will I take it if they will have me.

The rest of yesterday was rather productive.

I'm slowly getting all of this "homework" done.

Very slowly.

I went to dinner with someone last night, didn't really enjoy it all that much.

If you want to know the details of how I really felt about it, I'd love to share.

After such miserable dinner company I made my way over to hangout with much more pleasant company.

Watched "9."

I didn't get it at all. I'm glad I'm not a movie person.

Today has also been pleasantly productive, and I'm looking forward to having an evening to myself. 

I'm not terribly thrilled about having to work tomorrow, but whatevs. 

This post has nothing to do with anything, I just felt like sharing.

Once I have more time in my life...in about a month from tomorrow...I plan on writing actual interesting blogs and maybe getting back into vlogging too. I really enjoyed it when I did it. 

Who knows what I will get into in the future. 

I always say I like surprises, but boy do I stress a lot about the future to want it to be a surprise.

Oh me.

Thoughts/Concerns

I'm up relatively early this morning for a phone interview in about 40 minutes.

I'm rather excited about it, and really, really hope something comes of it.

The job couldn't actually be any more in my "field."

It is working with refugee resettlement.

Refugee, many times referring to someone of African origin.

Resettlement, moving someone over the landscape, geography.

I couldn't ask for anything closer to my degrees.

This post is more to clear my mind and prepare me for my interview.

I have been practicing my Swahili more often these days.

Although others tell me it isn't useful, I beg to differ.

Maybe if I wanted to work in South America it wouldn't be useful, but I study Africa, and much of East Africa speaks some variation of kiSwahili.

KiSwahili is a very beautiful language. It rolls off the tongue like butter.

I'm not sure why you would put butter directly on you tongue, but it seemed like a good analogy.

After the interview I wanted to play tennis, but alas, that doesn't look like its going to happen. 

A little hard to play alone.

Just sayin',

Instead, if it warms up at all, I will most likely take the dog for a nice long walk.

Not that anyone out there really cares about my day, but it feels good to kind of lay it out for myself. Just so I know where I am.

I don't know how or why I'm losing myself, but it helps to write things down sometimes.

Later today I am going to do homework, hopefully lots and lots.

I haven't been terribly motivated lately, but I have 3 weeks until graduation at this point and don't really have the time to be a slacker.

If I get everything I plan done today, I will feel a million times better about graduation only being 3 weeks away.

I picked up my cap and gown yesterday.

I wasn't sure how to feel about it.

Part of me is really excited to be able to get the hell out of that school, but another much more emotional part of me feels like my life as I know it is ending.

I have made a home at that school, a zone of comfort.

I haven't been on campus much this semester, but ever time I am, I can't help me think about the thousands of times I have walked those same paths to various buildings over the past 5.5 years.

I cannot believe its almost over.

It honestly seems like only yesterday I was a freshman.

Then, I was having the time of my life there and could not imagine 4 years being long enough.

Apparently, it wasn't, but 5.5 most definitely is.

I justify it though, two BA's in 5.5 years isn't too shabby, or at least that's what I tell myself.

I really have no idea what is next in my life, and that is what scares me the most.

In the past, I have had my parents pushing me to the next big thing, but now they just want me to take some time off, get married, have a family.

Unlikely.

I really want to go to grad school, but where? And for what?

This has been running through my mind for a couple years now, and I still haven't figured it out.

I started applying to a school, but its really far away and very very cold. 

I'm not how I would fare alone and cold.

I'm a rather needy person.

Do I stick this is unrealistic "Africa" thing or should I at least try to do something more applicable?

I think that is the real question.

I know my parents are proud of me in general for getting degrees, but they think I should have done something like education or business. 

I would have been very unhappy with either of those choices.

Education majors can't do, if you know what I mean.

Business majors are jerks, always, end of story.

I'm not living my life in search of wealth and riches.

I just want to be happy and knowledgeable.

I like to think I am headed in the right direction.

Time to run up stairs and get ready for this interview in my pjs.

Oh The Irony/A Week Of Creepers

Throughout my college career, I dreamed of working at a hotel front desk. Oh the liberty and freedom it would give me to do homework on the clock, stoning two birds at once if you will. Now that I am in my last semester of undergrad, I finally have that job I had always thought to be so grand, boy was I mistaken. Sure, I have all the time in the world to do homework (which is abundant these days), waste time on the internet, and I've watched more TV since I have had this job than I probably have in a year or two, but boy are there a lot of creepers. 

Creeper (As defined by Urban Dictionary): 

A man who is very odd and lurks around the mall staring at young girls. A creeper can also be a very weird looking man or boy who does not like to socialize but just stays in a corner and stares at people.

I would say, I greatly agree with this definition of "creeper," some great examples would be my last week at the hotel.

Monday:

A filthy old man comes in, looks a lot like the truck driver type that we see a lot here. We'll call him Joe-bob. 

Why? Because I'm telling the story and will use whatever names I see fit. 

Usually this type might call me "hun" or "darling," but subtleties was not this guy's game. 

I greet him like I do any other guest with a "Hello" and "How can I help you today?" (Which might I add always seems to puzzle people, because we only have one service, and that's renting hotel rooms.) 

But the first words out of his mouth were "Well! Aren't you just a sexy little thing!"

I try to respond politely with a smile, but anyone that knows me well knows I do not take well to sexism in any form.

I run through the script with the prices and types of rooms, but he is persistent to talk about me. 

I eventually get his information and begin the check-in process, but the longer he stands in the lobby the more he seems interested in my life. 

"I bet your husband doesn't tell you how sexy you are."

"How old is your husband"

"Do you like 'em older"

"I bet your husband doesn't treat you good."

After he drones on and on about my "husband" for a while and I continue saying nothing at all he then realizes I'm not wearing a ring. 

Life lesson #1 for the week: Maybe diamonds really are a girls best friend, if they can keep away the creepers.

He then, for whatever reason, thinks he has a chance with me so he tries even harder to ask when I'm getting off work and what I'm doing tomorrow...

At this point, I just cannot take any more.

I don't care if he is the customer, the customer can kiss my ass.

My last words to him were "Sir, please just let me do my job so you can go to your room and get the hell out of my lobby."

He seemed pretty offended, but at least he didn't come back for the rest of the night.

Tuesday:

Tuesday wasn't nearly as bad, but I just had some weird instances that just made me wonder what in the hell people were thinking.

A large truck with an even larger trailer pulls up in the parking lot around 8pm.

This isn't out of the ordinary at all because most of our guests are headed somewhere and usually have a lot of stuff.

Around 8:20pm the phone rang.

It was a man asking to make a reservation for two.

Again, not out of the ordinary.

But when I asked him when he would be checking in he responds, "well, I'm in your parking lot now."

I wasn't really sure how to respond to that since any normal person would have just come inside knowing that you have to not only pay for a room before you can get into it, but you will also need a key which I cannot deliver over the phone. 

I try to politely ask the man to come inside, but he again responds with "well, I'm in your parking lot."

I try to explain that I cannot check him in over the phone and even if I could he would still have to come to the front desk at some point if he wanted to get into the room at all.

I guess I finally got through to him because about half an hour later he comes waltzing in. 

Again the filthy trucker type, but not nearly as creepy this time.

He continues to complain about having to come inside when he was already in the parking lot, but I couldn't think of anything to say to him other than "I hope you have a great night's rest, sir."

Life lesson #2 for the week: Never underestimate the unreasonableness and laziness of people. Never.

Wednesday:

This day made me of so happy that I (normally) only work four days a week and so tomorrow would be my Friday and I could have a break from this weirdness.

Most of the night was relatively smooth (and slow).

 My boss had warned me of an older man that upon check-in had told her all about himself and that he was here to meet a girl and proceeded to pay cash for a week-long stay.

After staying only two nights the man comes up to the the front desk around 9pm and is crying and demanding that he needs to leave as soon as possible because things are not working out and he needs a refund for the rest of the week.

Knowing that I do not have that much money on hand, and not sure if I can even authorize to refund that much money anyway, I call my boss.

I let him know that he can get a refund in the morning when he checks out.

This seems to cheer him up a bit, but he still seems very heartbroken.

My guess is he got here expecting a young girl and got another creepy old man like himself. Its the most likely of scenarios.

After he has perked up a little he gets more interested in me and proceeds to ask me question after question and after question. Although I wouldn't have responded any way, he wasn't even giving any time for a response.

So, how old are you?

Are you in high school?

I bet you are in high school.

Am I right? Oh, I know I'm right.

What are you, 16, 17? 

Oh you cannot be 18, you are just too cute to be 18.

I bet you are 17. Am I right?

Do you have a boyfriend?

Does he treat you good?

Do you like older men?

...

At this point I am thoroughly creeped out, as I'm you can understand.

Having learned my lesson earlier this week with creepy old men, I didn't even attempt polite.

Instead, I said through gritted teeth, "Please return to your room now."

Although he left, I still had that weird feeling that he would peering in on me for the rest of the night. It doesn't help that the lobby is almost completely windows and its dark out so early now that you cannot see a thing outside after 7pm.

Life lesson #3 for this week: Even though my friends say I dress like a grandma, apparently I still look good enough to be considered jail bait to creepy old men.

Thursday:

My Friday. Finally.

The night starts off fairly smoothly, not even many homeless people wandering around outside. 

Maybe they were taking the holiday off from panhandling. 

Then about 8pm I get a phone call from what is obviously a young homosexual male.

He states that he has lost his camera and thinks he may have left it in the room during his stay last week. 

People leave things all the time and we simply ship them back to them and charge their credit card for the shipping fees, not really a big deal.

We don't want their random crap.

So this guy is isn't sure what room he stayed in and isn't sure whose name it was under, but knows the date.

I let him know that there is not a whole lot I can do for him since he doesn't have a lot of information, but I will leave a not for housekeeping to call him back if they have found a digital camera to find out if it is his. 

He then refuses to leave a call-back number and wants to know when I work next so he can call back then because he doesn't feel comfortable talking to anyone else. 

Not weird at all...and by that I mean extremely.

He then starts rambling on about how he is a "gay man" so he is obviously harmless and just wants his camera back because it has very incriminating footage.

I once again state that I will leave a note for housekeeping and they will check and know by the time he calls back.

Apparently, by restating my solution to his issue he took that as "PLEASE TELL ME THE JUICY DETAILS!!"

So he proceeds to tell me that he lives with a retired couple and that they were on vacation to meet some married men for a little "fun." 

And apparently all that "fun" is on that camera.

At this point I am trying desperately to get off the phone ASAP and as politely as possible.

He then assures me that they are all adults and recites all of their ages and how well they treated him.

After he drones on for another few minutes about some of the details of his escapades in the sack with married men he miraculously gets a sense of embarrassment and starts apologizing profusely for giving so much detail and assures me that he will talk to me again.

At this point, I am so thoroughly creeped out that I just end the call abruptly with a "OK, thanks for calling, BYE!"

And as if it were the theme of the night, just about 10 minutes after I hang up the phone, a man walks in to ask if we have a rate that charges by the hour...

Wow.

Life lesson #4 for this week: Try to act more not caring, because apparently my phone voice cares a lot.

I'm happy to say that my week is almost over, it is 9pm on Thursday night, so only two more hours and I can get away from the hotel creepers for a couple days. Unfortunately, I have to work Sunday, but who knows, maybe creepers take a break on Sundays...I can only hope.