I think I can, I think I can...

So, it's day two of the "new" year, and I think I'm doing okay with that list of things I would like to accomplish within this year.

I didn't eat or drink anything that I know is bad for me all day yesterday.

Although I have yet to clean my car out, I did think about it and hope to accomplish that today.

I didn't have any red meat yesterday, and I had a little more water than usual, but not enough.

I didn't have time to read anything, but I was busy having a fun filled day with my one and only at the moment. 

Although its been a rather frustrating past couple days, I am starting to feel better about this new beginning for me.

With graduation over, I still feel like my life as I knew it has come to an end, but I am in search of the next adventure, whatever that may be.

I'm trying to look on the bright side of things, and all of that mushy crap that people keep telling me, but its hard when I miss the undergrad life already. 

It seems like only yesterday I was a freshman thinking there was no way four years was going to be enough, and that I was living the life.

Five and a half years later I am finished and it seems like it all went by so quickly. 

They truly were the best years of my life.

I learned so much in college, more than just academics, but also how to take care of myself, which unfortunately a lot of people seem to miss.

 I don't know was is next.

I want to go to grad school, but I have no idea what for, and where.

Then there is the whole GRE thing.

I feel the stress of the SAT all over again.

I am terrible at standardized testing, the worst, and it is definitely not a good representation of my mad academic skills.

I would love to move out of Georgia, and really start a whole new adventure.

The Peace Corps is still in the back of my mind somewhere, even though I am still very hesitant about running off for 2.5 years alone.

I have issues with being alone, or feeling alone.

I can be in a crowded room and feel alone. 

I hate that feeling and I hate that I have that complex, but its me and its just something else I have got to accept about me. 

Why waste life trying to change the attributes that make me unique, even if they are silly and quirky.

I really want a "real" job sometime in the near future, if that doesn't happen then I may not be able to accomplish the goal of paying half of my student loans.

That's another thing keeping me from rushing into grad school, I really don't want to leave those loans sitting there acquiring more interest than they need to.

I will feel MUCH better financially once those are paid.

I find it kind of ironic that I had a better income and better job which I was still in undergrad. 

I thought you were suppose to be poor while attending college and then have a plenty of money once you were finished.

Lies, all lies.

Oh well, money is one those things that just stresses me out, and since its on the list to not stress so much, I'm trying not to worry about it.

Shit happens for a reason, and I'm sure everything will work out just fine in the end, it always does, that's how you know its the end. 

Amirite?

New Year To-Do List

Every year I make a mental list of "resolutions" that I would like to attain in the "new year." 

Seeing as this has been a fruitless method of attaining said goals, I have decided a blogged To-Do List would be best. 

I am a big fan of lists, and I think I will have a lot more luck with this.

To start things off, I have a lot of short term goals that I think will be easily attainable, as well as some long term goals that are going to be quite the struggle to keep up, but I am not going to be terribly upset if I do not attain them all, just so long as I stick to it.

1. I will no longer eat/drink  foods that I KNOW I am allergic to. This includes: turkey, chocolate, caffeine, dairy, processed tomatoes, potatoes, oranges, hot peppers, coffee

2. I will drink more water.

3. I will eat more fish and less red meats.

4. I will keep my car clean for the entire year, cleaning it at least once a week, because it drives me nuts that I am finding things in it from 5 years ago....Really.

5. I will pay at least half of my student loans back, because that will make me feel 39048230948 times better about my financial situation.

6. I will drop my weight to 160lbs and maintain it by vigorously working out at least 4 times a week.

7. I will get a real job and/or enroll in grad school, because I can't stand being stagnant.

8. I will blog at least twice a week, because I love it and it makes me feel better no matter how tedious it may be.

9. I will not use facebook for the entire year because it is a waste of my life and I don't need to know what everyone I have ever met is doing at any given time.

10. I will actually finish my little brother's scrapbook that I started over a year ago, but come on, 11 years is a long time period to scrapbook.

11. I will read at least way more than I already do, because I have a plenty of time for it. 

12. I will attend more live events, because I have become quite the hermit and would like to be more social. I don't have school anymore, and my job is definitely not the happening place, so I need to make an effort to get out and have experiences.

13. Relax. Whatever it takes, I need to relax. The past year has taken a toll on me stress-wise and I need to calm down. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this just yet, but I am going to do it.

I believe I am capable of accomplishing at least most of these things, if not all. I have a lot more free-time on my hands now that school is over, and I am going to work hard to live my life and be happy.

Happy "New Year"...I'm still not sure I agree with the whole new concept, its just time after all, and time is always new because we can never go back, but sheesh, that a whole different rant.

 

Being Dionysian

I just watched the most inspirational TED video I have ever seen.

Dan Phillips-Creative houses from reclaimed stuff 

Holy crap.

I feel like I am finally beginning to understand what is missing my life.

Sometimes I feel as if I do not have nearly as much knowledge as I should at this point in my life, but it is because I am allowing society to suppress my need to create and exemplify what nature has to give us. 

This video has made my day and has actually inspired me for the weekend.

Instead of buying more crap that no one really needs anyway, I am going to create.

Re-purpose the forgotten.

Oh boy!

Leftover Chinese and Skittles Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving has never really been a holiday I have particularly enjoyed.

Mostly because of my allergy to turkey, but also because I think its silly to dedicate day day to gorge yourself until you pass out.

 When I was younger, I really loved spending the time with my family, but as I have grown, I have drifted away from my family, and my family has drifted toward drugs and thievery.  

I'd rather just have leftover Chinese food with my mom, than try to get my very dysfunctional family together in one place. 

Especially since my parents are divorced, and that means two of those gorging sessions on one day.

No, thank you.

I have to work today anyway, and although its lonely at times, I think I'm okay with it.

I am super excited that it is Thursday, which as you know, is my Friday!

I am going to make the best of my next 3 days with lots of fun and exciting adventures.

I only have 3 things left until I have completely finished with my undergraduate degrees.

Woot.

It is just a matter of convincing myself to get them finished.

I have certainly caught senioritis and I think my professors are being understanding about it.

 I plan on finishing at least one of those things today, one tomorrow, and one Sunday, leaving Saturday for fun and exciting adventures.

I have been feeling more and more creative lately.

I am getting pretty excited about the prospect of spare time once school is finished.

I'm going to create the crap out of something.

Just not sure what yet.

I'm considering going shopping tomorrow, how stupid is that?

I'm pretty sure I'll be miserable if I do, but I will also get a lot of crap out of the way as well.

Oh well, I guess its time I get started on homework.

Laterz.

Oh Rome, how I loath thee

Boy, do I hate being in Rome.

Its so weird that my parents hangout with people my age, that I went to school with, but its even weirder that they get dirty picture texts from them and then talk about them.

Gross.

No thank you.

I go to the bank with my dad today and a girl I went to school with works there and cannot stop flirting with my dad.

For some reason, no one from high school ever recognizes me.

Not only do I have to put up with the weirdness of that, but they have the worst grammar in the entire world, and it makes me want to scream every time they speak.

The one good thing about being in Rome is seeing just how far in life I have made it and how much more I need to accomplish.

I look forward to the day I never have to come back to Rome again.

Really, I do.

I'm always terribly miserable here.

My parents just talk about the same old drama crap and I just don't want to be involved.

I never ever ever want to live in Rome again.

I'm just not made for it. 

In other news, the interview went well...I think.

It was kind of awkward and rushed, but they seemed to like me.

It was just bad scheduling on their part because they wanted to make it to their Thanksgiving luncheon that started just half an hour after my interview was suppose to start. 

It consisted of 3 ladies asking me questions from every side of me.

Questions that I really felt were really impossible to answer without being put in the situation, but I gave the best answers I could.

I really hope I get it.

It would be a nice way to not be so upset about finishing up undergrad.

I keep telling myself that I am ready to be finished, but I don't know that I am convinced yet.

Maybe I'll make a happier/more interesting post later.

I'm really just super tired right now, and I don't want to be in Rome.

I am miserable.

Cookie dough makes the world go round

I got this fancy new hat yesterday.

It makes me happy.

I love Nelly with all my heart.

I do. I do. I do-oo. 

Sometimes I forget how happy his songs, make me, but I immediately remember when I hear any of his songs. Especially Ride Wit Me.

Today has been a rather stressful day. 

Its the kind of day that I just need a nap and some cookie dough.

Then everything is at least a little better.

I attempted to have a meeting with a professor, didn't happen.

I attempted to get my tires changed, didn't happen.

It'll happen bright and early tomorrow morning though, and it's about damn time.

On a more positive note, at least the semester is winding down, and I am finally beginning to see the light at the end of this long and dark tunnel.

I really cannot wait to graduate. 

I never thought I would feel this way, but boy as it gets closer, the more excited I am.

I really miss being in a relationship.

I'm looking forward to meeting someone new in the future.

Who knows when it will happen, I think that's the best part of meeting someone new.

Just never knowing when it's going to happen.

Vacancy is an understatement

I've only been working here for about a month now, but it is too weird to see the hotel completely empty.

Maybe this will make for a nice and quiet evening.

Maybe.

I've been in a fog lately.

Not the sick kind of fog, but the just completely out of it fog.

I think I've been sleeping so poorly that my dream-state has been following me through my day.

Its been a couple years since I have had so many nightmares in a row.

Its probably my stress levels catching up with me. 

There's lots of things I can do to fix this, and probably should in the very near future. 

I went on a short walk today, but I really should be making time for more than that everyday. 

I always feel much better when I walk at least 3 miles. 

I'm dreading it getting colder, but I might as well take advantage of this strange November weather while it lasts.

I say that now and it will be snowing tomorrow, I'm sure.

Graduation is now exactly one month away.

One month from today I will be the proud graduate of two BA's.

I had a strange conversation with my Dad yesterday concerning graduation.

He said frantically that no one in the family has ever graduated from college so he has no idea what he is suppose to do to celebrate it.

I really don't expect anything big.

An expression of how proud people are of me will suffice.

I'm just happy to be finished...almost...for now.

I'm not at all looking forward to working for the next 5 days, but at least I have the interview Friday to look forward to.

I've been working on my French the last couple days, and its slowly coming back to me.

The rope burn on my hand still hurts.

Two days later.